Break Free from People-Pleasing
BASED IN SAN FRANCISCO AND SERVING ALL OF CALIFORNIA
Therapy to help you set boundaries, reduce anxiety, and reclaim your life
Are You Tired of Always Putting Others First?
Do you often find yourself saying "yes" when you really want to say "no"? Are you constantly worried about how others perceive you, fearing rejection or disappointment? People-pleasers tend to prioritize everyone else’s needs above their own, leading to anxiety, burnout, and a deep sense of disconnection from their true selves. If you’re exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy and struggling with the anxiety that comes with it, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to continue living this way.
The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing
On the surface, people-pleasing might seem like a good way to maintain peace in your relationships. You want to be liked, accepted, and appreciated, and it feels natural to try to make others happy. But over time, constantly putting others first can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. You might experience:
Persistent anxiety over whether others are happy with you or if you’re meeting their expectations.
Difficulty making decisions because you’re always considering how others will react.
Exhaustion and burnout from constantly giving and rarely receiving in return.
Struggles with resentment as your own needs and desires are consistently pushed aside.
A feeling of guilt or selfishness when you focus your time and energy on yourself. because you base your value on how much you do for others.
This cycle of self-sacrifice and anxiety can feel never-ending, leaving you stuck in relationships and situations that don’t truly serve you.
You don’t have to keep living this way!
It's time to focus on you!
Therapy for people-pleasers can help you rediscover the joy you've been missing.
Who Can Benefit from Therapy for People-Pleasing?
Therapy is beneficial for anyone who feels trapped by the need to please others, but it’s especially helpful if you:
Struggle with anxiety or guilt related to setting boundaries or saying no.
Frequently feel overwhelmed by the demands of others.
Experience resentment due to feeling unappreciated or taken for granted.
Have difficulty recognizing or expressing your own needs and desires.
Want to improve your relationships by creating a more balanced dynamic.
If these challenges resonate with you, therapy can provide the tools and support you need to reclaim your life.
How anxiety therapy can help people-pleasers
Therapy offers a compassionate and supportive space for you to explore the roots of your people-pleasing behavior and the anxiety it generates. In therapy, you’ll gain insights into why you prioritize others over yourself and learn new ways to interact with the world. Through this work, you can:
Understand the origins of your people-pleasing tendencies and how they’re linked to anxiety.
Develop healthier boundaries so you can prioritize your own needs without guilt.
Build self-confidence as you start to value yourself for who you are, not just for what you do for others.
Learn to assert yourself in a way that’s both respectful and empowering.
Reduce anxiety by challenging the beliefs that fuel your need to please everyone.
By addressing these issues, you’ll begin to feel more in control of your life and more connected to your true self. Therapy can help you break free from the anxiety and exhaustion of people-pleasing, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
How therapy for people-pleasers works
01
Define
We will take a look at what is bringing you to therapy. When it showed up, how it is affecting day-to-day life, and what you have done to address it. I will also help you to become more aware of the limiting thoughts and beliefs that are keeping you feeling stuck in people-pleasing mode.
02
Uncover
Next we will get to the root causes of your people-pleasing behaviors. We will explore how family, culture, and systems have influenced your thinking, allowing you to challenge those beliefs that once worked well for you, but now feel misaligned.
03
Rediscover
Develop new ways to relate to yourself and others that are aligned with your deepest-held values and goals. Together, we will help you discover a new way to view yourself that leaves you feeling empowered and confident in who you are and able to reclaim your time and energy for the things that matter most to you.
THERAPY FOR PEOPLE-PLEASERS THAT’S TAILORED TO YOUR NEEDS
Things we can focus on:
Anxiety & stress
Your inner critic
Perfectionism
Boundary setting
Emotion regulation
Increasing confidence
Changing unhelpful cycles and relationship patterns
Assertive communication
Trauma or painful past experiences
I use a variety of evidence-based methods and proven approaches to help you thrive.
-
CBT helps you consider the ways your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interact with each other. Using CBT, we can identify some of the thoughts and beliefs that may be holding you back from the life you want.
-
Humans are hard-wired for connection and the experiences we have with relationships in our early life shape they way we experience and participate in all relationships going forward.
-
Learning mindfulness can help all of us to become more aware of and accepting of our feelings. Mindfulness can help us better identify the thoughts we have about ourselves, relationships, and the world and make changes to the limiting beliefs that are holding us back.
-
Brainspotting is a form of therapy that is used in treating symptoms of trauma. Brainspotting helps you to process and heal from trauma by reducing or relieving the symptoms of emotional distress that often emerge after traumatic experiences. Brainspotting uses bilateral stimulation (engaging both sides of the brain) to allow you to process the memory where it is stored in your brain in a manner that is not debilitating.
-
Narrative therapy helps you consider the stories you have been told by others and by yourself about who you are and how others see and treat you. Together, we take a look at your stories and decide which parts we want to challenge, which parts to re-write, which to keep, and those we would like to expand.
IMAGINE A LIFE BEYOND PEOPLE-PLEASING…
Imagine moving through your day without getting caught up in second-guessing and worry spirals.
✓
Imagine confidently setting boundaries and saying no when you need to, without feeling anxious or guilty
✓
Imagine feeling secure, supported, and understood in balanced relationships.
✓
Imagine turning your inner critic into your inner cheerleader
✓
Imagine feeling more connected to your true self, with a clearer sense of what you value and need.
✓
All of this is possible for you
Overwhelm and self doubt don’t have you be your story
Rediscover your authentic self!
What you need to know about therapy for people-pleasers
-
We meet weekly for 50 minute sessions via video. During our first few sessions, we'll get to know each other, make sure we're a good fit, and decide on some goals for working together. After that, I check in regularly to make sure we're working on issues that are important to you in ways that feel productive and safe. Questions and feedback are always welcome. Every once in a while you might get to see my lab mix, Roscoe, but that’s only if he feels camera ready.
-
Well, that’s mostly up to you to be honest. I believe that you know what’s best for you and I’m here to support you in finding it. Everyone is different and their time in therapy can differ for a variety of reasons. Typically, my clients attend therapy for 6-12 months.
-
While there are no guarantees, we take great care and intention in exploring what influences your anxiety from the internal to the external. Not only do we peel back layers of how anxiety specifically manifests for you, we also work collaboratively to create tools that help you slow down and bring continued awareness to your experience and learn how to navigate states of anxiety.
-
I’m so glad you asked! First, click the “Schedule a free consultation” button 👇to book our initial call. During our call together, we’ll have a short conversation about what’s bringing you to therapy now, answer any additional questions you might have, and overall get a chance to see if we’re a good fit.
Posts about therapy for people-pleasers
